When someone uses the words ‘Positive Mindset’ and ‘Positive Mental Attitude’, don’t you just want to punch that person in the face! I mean as if life was just as easy as being positive right!? Life can deal harsh punches and there are days when you just want to tell the universe ‘ENOUGH already! Why me, what did I do to deserve this!’
So, I am aware that when I am introducing myself to someone as a Fertility and Birth Trauma Mindset Coach, that on some occasions, they are internally rolling their eyes and thinking ‘oh here is another coach wanting to take my money and tell me to just be positive and my problems will just go away’….am I resonating here?
I know this happens, and that is because I have been there! I have heard those words and internally wanted to combust, because you know what life has also dealt me some harsh blows. I recall being told shortly after losing my sister to cancer to focus on the positive times we shared and not ‘dwell on the negativity’ and I was so so offended by that person. Offended because I didn’t want to look at anything other than the hideousness of my reality. How was thinking positive going to make any difference, it wouldn’t make this emptiness go away…….it wouldn’t change my situation and bring any clarity on why this had to happen to me……and most importantly it couldn’t change the fact that she was gone!
My reality was darkness…….my everyday thoughts were negative………I couldn’t see any way out of it, and if I am completely honest, I didn’t want to. Because if I stopped feeling this way who would I be? My life had become completely immersed and defined by a world of treatments and waiting for positive results. Cheerleading and supporting, knowing you just couldn’t ever give up on the dream of the end goal………I couldn’t take my eye of the ball, not even for a moment. We didn’t make plans, didn’t go on holiday, social gatherings were a ‘maybe’, Life as we knew it had been erased and we existed in a new normal now.
The end result was not as we had hoped and my sister lost her fight when she was 17.
So, coming back to those words that offended me so much ‘don’t dwell on the negativity’ looking back now, whilst I still feel that they were timed poorly and maybe expressed somewhat clumsily (The power of language is a huge bug bear for me!), I do feel the sentiment is correct. I found my way out of my darkness by CHOOSING to focus my mind on what I wanted to, because the other option is not viable for daily life. I choose to be present in my life and ENJOY my days on this planet. I want to have things to look forward too and a purpose for getting out of bed every day. Of course, things come along and make some days more difficult than others, and on those days, I respect my body and nurture it, but I show up every day in one capacity or another, because in the words of my teenage crush Wham ‘I choose life’
Most recently, life has once again challenged me, and my daily structure was somewhat unearthed, but I still showed up and celebrated the wins from those days, because there is always one to be found. The power of a positive mind is extremely underestimated and frequently poo poo’d, but it can make such a profound difference, you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain!
Does this resonate with you in anyway?
Are your thoughts consumed with personal struggles to conceive or maybe your past birth experience has left you with lasting negative effects?
Are you feeling the weight of this reality frequently, maybe it is getting louder as each day passes and you would welcome some peace and quiet, even for just an hour!?
Would you welcome some new ways of thinking and daily practices to support you as you move forwards, enjoying life in a more fulfilling way….maybe in a way you used to before life got in the way?
Join me by clicking ‘YES! I want to raise my positive FEELS’ below, and I will share with you, five FREE techniques, guaranteed to lift the grey clouds and reintroduce you to the sunshine all around you.