Confidence! Do you really have a lack?

Let’s talk about Confidence, and more specifically, the feeling that this is an area you lack in.

‘I could never do that, I am not confident enough’

‘Wow you have so much confidence, I wish I was more like you’

‘I would definitely do more of XYZ, if I had more confidence’

These are just a few of the comments I hear regularly either from my clients and/or other women in business that I am around frequently.

I think it would be helpful if we unpick this word CONFIDENCE (as most of you know I have a huge passion for language, and the meaning behind it!)

Now, the oxford dictionary defines the word Confidence as;

“The quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future”

So, by that definition, when you believe you lack in confidence, you are feeling uncertain in your abilities to do XYZ

But confidence will undoubtedly mean something different to you than it does to another – language is NEVER as black and white as a dictionary definition.

For example, confidence to one could mean speaking up for themselves, when you feel an injustice is occurring, whilst to another, it could mean NOT speaking up, but being confident in their convictions to just simply walk away.

The statement ‘I am not confident enough’ is quite a sweeping one in itself, and I would be willing to bet a large sum of money on the fact that whilst there may be areas that you feel less than confident, there will most definitely be others, where it is present every single day, and you haven’t even noticed, because it is just the norm for you.

One of my most favourite things to share with my clients, is the power of the re-frame. Which in short, means re-framing a situation to see it in a different light, and you can most definitely do this when feeling a lack of confidence.

So here is a little tool for you, and one that will slowly but surely, get you to start seeing all the ways in which you most certainly don’t lack in confidence.

I want you to start each day with the intention that you are going to be present and mindful, to ALL the ways in which you are absolutely, 100% confident.

Confidence can be the way you drive at night (when others are fearful) or the way in which you dress and look at yourself in the mirror.

It’s when you have no problem talking to your children’s school when they have been upset or discussing tricky subjects with a colleague, when it can feel impossible to others.

It can be an internal feeling, an inner knowing that you have made the right decision and seeing it come to fruition.

It is talking openly and freely on a subject that you feel passionate about, and not caring if anyone agrees or not

It is lifting weights and feeling like a badass when doing it!

Dancing without a care in the world and singing regardless of whether you believe you have a voice of an angel or not.

It is walking tall, gaining a new skill, being brave to start a new business, or saying, ‘this isn’t what I want anymore’ and making the change.

It is knowing you deserve to be loved, and never compromising who you are, rather than being alone.

It comes in many forms, and cannot be defined by a dictionary.

CONFIDENCE is a feeling, that is only relatable to you!

I want YOU to set the intention EVERY, SINGLE. DAY, to notice, to be aware of CONFIDENCE in its many forms, oozing out of you every day.

And by doing this, you will in turn, slowly but surely, re-frame the way YOU define it and one day you will just notice that the feeling is growing……day by day, little by little, until one day you simply can’t remember what that old belief was all about.